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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in This screenname is a joke.'s LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
11:14 pm
I guess I should update.

Bad news: I have no social life to speak of. I'm bored most of the time, but can't work up enough motivation to do anything to get my shit together. My parents have taken to treating me like a failed sociological experiment. I have no portfolio. I'm extremely confused. I don't really want to be around anyone, but then again, human contact is nice sometimes. I still miss people so much it's painful, but I doubt that they remember me. I want to curl up with Kate again, because that makes everything feel better, but then I remember that we don't live down the hall from each other anymore. I'm starting to spend and eat compulsively. Waking up seems like less and less of a good idea. I miss Cady.

Good news: I actually enjoy most of my classes. I am the proud owner of a four month old high orange Okeetee corn snake who goes by the name of Xavier and is currently stealing the warmth from behind my right ear, which tickles. I named him in the midst of an all-night bout of X-Men gluttony. I'm getting after-school access to the printmaking room on Mondays. Ben is sober.

....so yeah. Just thought I'd do one-a those.
Tuesday, September 20th, 2005
10:46 pm
.......Random lyrics post!
Summer I painted
A scene
That lit the stars for me,
Said: "I can erase it for you, dear."
That summer created
Those words
That came to life in three,
They were denied by you.

Summer I laid down
The glitter adorned night,
And silently sparkled,
My own way.
Summer I laid down
By you
And shared my frail light,
You gave the dark to me.

I looked inside,
To find
The one I sent away.
(To insinuate)
I nearly froze
When I stepped inside,
To find
The flowers turned to Grey.
(I self mutilate)
I closed my eyes, and kissed them one last time.

Summer a morning,
So pale,
Alone when they found me.
As I remained sleeping, heard them say:
"This summer created
A boy
Of abject misery."
He was designed by you.
(He was designed by you)

I looked inside,
To find
The one I sent away.
(To insinuate)
I nearly froze,
When I stepped inside,
To find
The flowers turned to Grey.
(And self mutilate)
I closed my eyes, and kissed them...

So like a lost child,
I will hide.
And like lost lie,
I will find...

Find a way to return to the ones who made me,
Cover your eyes and we'll die together.

Will you fly for me,
Will you fly for me,
Or will you cry with me?

Will you fly for me,
Will you fly for me,
Or will you cry with me?

Will you cry for me,
(I've been a lonely one)
Will you fly for me,
(I've had this whole world)
Or will you die with me?
(Drained from me)

Will you cry for me,
(Am I the only one)
Will you fly for me,
(I've had this world)
Or will you die with me?
(Drained from me, drained from me.)

Summer I painted
A scene
That lit the stars for me.
Said: "I can erase it for you, dear..."
Monday, September 19th, 2005
9:36 pm
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster- Open Letter to the Kansas City School Board: http://www.venganza.org/

That made my day.

And another piece of hilarity:


"On your watch, we've lost: almost all of our allies; the surplus; four airliners; two trade centers; a piece of the Pentagon; and the city of New Orleans. May be you're just not lucky."

"So yes, [Bush] God does speak to you. And what he's saying is... take a hint."
Thursday, September 15th, 2005
4:40 pm
There will be no Faire this weekend due to the need to work.

As if I don't have enough schoolwork to drown a small horse, today I got sent applications from some schools. That means I need to write essays, get the essays proofread, re-write the essays, get recommendations, get together a portfolio, make slides, make appointments for portfolio reviews, get my parents to do their taxes early so I can have information for FAFSA, look for scholarships, and in the midst of all this, try to get a B or A average for this quarter.
At least I don't have to take the SATs again.

And my physics teacher has gone off on a tangent and started talking about quantum physics... it's the third week. We're just getting started on kinematics and dynamics. Somehow, even though I did sort of take elementary physics in freshman year, I don't think I'm quite ready for the quantum level, do you? Although it's interesting as hell. I can grasp the conceptual aspect of it, but I just don't really have the techincal knowledge to really understand it.

My head hurts.

Side note to Jen: You need to get your books back. Otherwise, I will lose contact with the outside world in my obsessive need to finish all of them.

Why are vampires always so damn sexy in books? I'd expect they'd be a bit more like the rest of us... a few fucking-gorgeous-Johnny Depp-Brad Pitt-Kate Winslett-Emma Thompson types, and alot of normal ones. Just because something's undead and a sex maniac don't make them pretty. Most violent sex maniacs aren't, actually. They're usually balding older men with glasses held over from the 70s and over-controlling mothers. I wouldn't want my soul to be bound to that for eternity.
Sunday, September 11th, 2005
5:02 pm
Sunday, September 4th, 2005
9:56 am
And to put a nice cap on things, The High Monkey has another Supreme Court seat to fill with the anti-abortion homophobic conservative ass of his choosing.
12:46 am
Oh yeah. And for those of you who are AFI fans, if any, I made this bitchin' shirt...

FrontCollapse )

BackCollapse )

(lyrics and tattoos property of David Marchand etc. etc.)
Monday, August 29th, 2005
9:25 am
Let the slow erosion of my social skills and faith in my artistic ability begin!
I have physics, despite the fact that I passed it in middle school and again in freshman year, and that I haven't yet taken chemistry. I have pre-calculus, despite the fact that I despise math class and don't need another math credit. I have arts and culture, despite the fact that I'm already taking art history. I have lunch at 9:00 in the morning. The only thing on my schedule that makes sense is my english class, which is already headed for disaster because I didn't finish An American Tragedy for various mostly embarrasing reasons. On the upside, at least they installed a new version of windows on these computers and got rid of all the viruses so at least they all boot up properly now.

Ok. Rant-y storm-cloud spouting over.
Saturday, August 27th, 2005
7:07 pm
I need a ride to Faire tomorrow. Please?
Friday, August 26th, 2005
1:59 am
Freudian Inventory Results
Oral (26%) you appear to be stubbornly and irrationally against receiving help even when it might be the more intelligent option.
Anal (20%) you appear to be overly lacking in self control and organization, and possibly have a compulsive need to defy authority. If you are too scatterbrained, you will not develop much as a person as you will habitually switch paths before you ever learn anything.
Phallic (83%) you appear to have issues with controlling your sexual desires and possibly fidelity.
Latency (40%) you appear to have a good balance of abstract knowledge seeking and practicality, dealing with real world responsibilities while still cultivating your abstract and creative faculties and interests.
Genital (76%) you appear to have a progressive and openminded outlook on life unbeholden to regressive forces like traditional authority and convention.
Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

...nothing new.
Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
11:32 pm
Shit. Saw Cady tonight for the last time before she goes to Boston on Sunday. She was one of a very small and somehow still shrinking number of people here in Baltimore that I feel close to. The thought that she's not going to be here is sort of... unfathomable to me. Right now is not happy.
Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
6:16 pm
So, I've been trying to assuage my regret at not going to Otakon this year by looking through everyone else's pictures. And it seems that the meaning of the term "cosplay" has broadened to the point where Otakon is just an excuse for another Halloween. Which I have no problem with, but you don't have to pay money for that. I understand the Jrock cosplay and such, but... Joey Jordison masks? Captain Jack Sparrow? Come on.
12:02 am
Boredom has prompted me to do this random question thingy...

The Random Question Meme!Collapse )
Saturday, August 20th, 2005
11:01 pm
So, I was feeling sort of shitty and was going to write another boring uptdate about how I was feeling sort of shitty, but then I read this quote and everything was better.

"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work. 'Hello. Can't work today, still queer.'"

I'm going to try that the next time I don't want to go to school/work. This woulda worked better back when it actually WAS defined as a mental disorder, but what the hell.

And, just because I'm bored, here are some more amusing quotes about homosexuality.Collapse )

If LJ Were a High School by Karen_Walker
Your Status
Lunch Ladymother_of_many
Head Cheerleaderhilafrey
Prom Queensummerlasts
Gang Memberlook_a_clam
Band Geekdigitaldrkangel
Theatre Geekstaticchris
Chess Club Captaincakefiend
Loner Goth Kidwastedkitten
Class Clownonetimesone
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Goddess, that's accurate. Except for the prom queen and the quarterback, Hannah's not really big enough to play football. And, I would NOT trust Maia with lunches for an entire school... that leaves entirely too much room for mischief.
Saturday, August 13th, 2005
3:05 am
Can't sleep. There's definitely not enough distracting stuff on basic cable at 3:00 in the morning.
Monday, August 1st, 2005
10:09 pm
Correction: the clinic wasn't open on Fridays. So, Monday it is.
Monday, July 25th, 2005
6:40 pm
I really want a good roast chicken right now. The whole thing. Because I just realized, I haven't eaten meat in awhile. And now, it's not really that I crave the taste, I just feel like I need to get protein into my system before I die.
Monday, July 18th, 2005
12:37 am
List ten fictional characters that you would like to have sex with. Then tag five friends to share their list.

1. Isaacs, from Priest. Even if he IS a crazed assasin killing machine in debt to Belaal.
2. Likewise, the fallen seraph character in Priest, who's name I cannot remember, even if he mutilates humans into poor imitations of seraphim.
3. Severus Snape, but only the Alan Rickman version.
4. To be lazy and steal from Tarhebus, Police Girl. Only in anime is a girl that ends up dressed like that a virgin.
5. Again to be lazy, and because it's the next one that popped into my head, Alucard. (if someone points out that except for Snape, all the men look like women, I'll hit you.)
6. Tim Burton's Catwoman.
7. Mystique.
8. Jared. But that's only because of David Bowie and his Bowie goodness.
9. Lucius Malfoy. (shut UP)
10. Harley and Mik, from Boy Meets Boy. And Fox. And Collin. Fuck it, the whole damn webcomic.
Sunday, July 17th, 2005
11:48 pm
Um. So, I seem to have missed alot. New York is amazing. If I could just transport all the people I love here, I would happily live the rest of my life here, even in the shitty little dorm they gave me.

What have I been doing? Mostly, running to and from class, which is many long blocks away, but not quite far enough to justify paying for the subway. This weekend was amazing, from the large congregation in Gabe's room to the free concert on Coney Island. I still miss the people at Putney terribly, but that doesn't mean I've not connected just as deeply with people here. I got sunburned like hell again at the concert and had to all but bathe in aloe lotion.

Actually, I miss alot of people terribly.

I think some sort of a floodgate was opened a couple weeks ago... lately, I panic more easily. At many things. Like... nightmares, being unable to sleep, hot, crowded places, things that are usually disconcerting but not a cause for panic. I don't know where this came from.

Other than that, there's nothing out of the ordinary, I guess. I've met an extraordinarily empathic girl named Kate. And a girl who shares my fantasy of walking up to Moby and rubbing his head. My gaydar, which is used to Baltimore's middling gay population, is going haywire in a city brimming with gays, lesbians, bi's, and trannies. I've given money that I couldn't afford to give to HRC. And I found cheap shoes, which I needed. There was a somewhat scary moment when Kate whacked her head on a cabinet and bled all over the place. But she's ok. Now, we're planning our eventual capture of Aaron, a.k.a. the very adorable skinny quiet gay goth photographer that lives down the hall. We WILL get him into sunlight if it kills him, dammit, which it probably will.

I don't know what to feel at the moment. I'm sort of all emotions at once here. Sort of a ball of nerves, emotion, and exhaustion, tinged with cigarette smoke and alot of sweat.

I'll probably write more when it's not 12:30 am and I don't have to go to class the next day.

Goodnight. I miss... pretty much everyone. Yeah.

Current Mood: Who can tell?
Saturday, July 2nd, 2005
1:36 am
Mmmm. MSI was better than last time. The Recher is a better concert venue than Nation, even if it doesn't have free water. I lusted after various very-gay-bordering-on-drag-queen guys, including, once again, androgenous blond boy, who now has multicolored dread extensions. No, I did not get the balls to talk to him. (Lusted after are the wrong words; I don't want to sleep with him, now that I think about it. I just sort of... want him as a pet.) In addition, the guitarist for one of the opening bands, Suicide City, was incredibly beautiful. She had fairly large breasts, so that's the first thing your eye would go to, but she was gorgeous completely aside from those. Bella Morte was great (they sang Dead Will Walk, and any band that sings about zombies in their shows gets an A in my book) and Suicide City was better than I expected. And MSI just blew me away... I thought they were high-octane last time... that was nothing. The man must be on crack or speed or possibly both to carry on that level of energy for almost an hour and a half.

I'd like to say that this is the first concert in almost a year in which I sustained no head injuries, lacerations, sprains, broken bones, or bruises. It feels strange to come out of one of these things in one piece.

I might get to do this all again in New York in a week.
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